Soft Skill #1: Empathy

Soft Skill #1: Empathy

Soft Skills: Empathy – Foundational in a Diverse Workplace

In our 8th grade English class we read Harper Lee's classic novel To Kill a Mockingbird. In summary, TKAM explores issues of race, violence and assault, prejudice (personal as well as legal), and the power of culture through the eyes of Jean Louise 'Scout' Finch, a 6 year old girl in the town of Maycomb, Alabama. Scout's father, Atticus Finch, is a lawyer in the community and is appointed to take the case of Tom Robinson, a black man who has been accused of raping a young, white girl named Mayella Ewell. Another major character is a man named Boo Radley, a mysterious figure who inspires both captivation and fear in Scout and her brother, Jem. Through the course of the trial, Atticus successfully defends Tom and exposes Bob Ewell (Mayella's father) as a racist drunk. Unfortunately, Tom is still convicted by the jury and sentenced, but is murdered after attempting an escape from jail. Ewell is infuriated and embarrassed by his exposure in the courtroom, and eventually attacks Jem and Scout, who are in turn saved by Boo Radley – once a source of confusion and fear. Among various issues, TKAM examines how our assumptions and stereotypes can be limiting and incorrect when faced with reality.

The reason for talking about TKAM is that Atticus, in a discussion with Scout early in the book, offers one of the best definitions of empathy I've ever seen: 'You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.' Empathy is the ability to see the world from the other's perspective. The definition is so simple, but becoming adept at deploying empathy is incredibly complex.

The makeup of a 'perspective' involves a number of factors, including natural inclinations, behavioral inclinations, historical background, familial background, social location and class, cultural frameworks, and education, to name a few. The construction of our worldviews is complex, and empathy requires an understanding of that complexity. On the other hand, there is a balancing act: people are not just the sum of their experiences and history, but also have will and agency, so there is significant wisdom needed to use empathy well, even if one understands the various factors involved.a

Two other key points before going over some tips: 1) the ability to listen (covered next time in more detail) is absolutely crucial. If you cannot listen well, including those things that are not said but implied, empathy is very, very difficult (if not impossible). 2) Empathy is not accepting the other person's position or perspective, or showing compassion or pity to it (which would be closer to sympathy). It is the ability to understand and acknowledge the other person's perspective as real to them.

Empathy is crucial for building camaraderie on a team, establishing a positive organizational culture, managing conflict effectively, building interpersonal relationships, fostering an environment of engagement, and many, many other aspects of your company. As our society becomes ever more diverse, we will have employees from myriad different backgrounds. This is not only true for differences in ethnicity: Millennials, the growing backbone of the modern economy as the Boomers begin to retire, have very different perspectives on a whole range of issues.

So, here are some tips to help work on your empathy capacity:

  1. Listen! - this is fundamental: if you're not listening to what the other person is saying, there is no ability to empathize.

  2. Be curious about others – reading about other viewpoints or asking people about their perspectives can help you see the world in a different way.

  3. Challenge yourself to think like your 'enemies' – chances are those people have a rationale for seeing the world the way they do, and it is beneficial to attempt to understand that perspective.

  4. Ask yourself 'How would I feel if...' - a simple exercise that puts you in another's skin, most applicable if there is an ongoing situation or conflict with readily available examples.

There is probably no more crucial soft skill in today's workplace than empathy. It transcends every aspect of an organization: from lower level employees to VP's and CEO's; from sales, IT, and HR to administration and customer service; from major old-school businesses like manufacturing, utilities, and insurance to new-school entrepreneurial services. Working on your capacity for empathy will definitely pay off.

Tyler